


Telling the truth

by Baozhale



Series: Loyal Evil Roger AU [1]
Category: PIERCE Tamora - Works, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baozhale/pseuds/Baozhale
Summary: In an AU where Duke Roger isn't regicidal, Alanna needs to actually tell people she's a girl.
Relationships: Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau/Jonathan of Conté
Series: Loyal Evil Roger AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843165
Comments: 12
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lsterling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lsterling/gifts).



> Notes of the AU:
> 
> Roger is still known for potentially slowing or halting people’s careers – he’s still an asshole, just not a regicidal one. The kidnapping to Tusaine still happened because Jem is still a spy, but Roger didn’t provide assistance with it – and Roger was still the commander for that very short war, but the “accident” was in fact an accident. Roger was still taken aback by the rescue mission, but only because he didn’t know why it was so urgent. And I guess Jon gets to be right about Roger sending him to the Black City because he thought they actually had a chance to get rid of the Ysandir? Or Jon had a fit of teenage recklessness and went without compulsion, one or the other. Dunno where the Sweating Sickness came from if not Roger, but again, still happened, we need Myles to figure out Alanna’s a girl.

The first thing Alanna did after her Ordeal was sleep. The second thing she did was eat, and making herself presentable was the third. The fourth thing she did, however, was to go find Sir Myles, with Prince Jonathan and Sir Gareth in tow.

“Congratulations,” Myles informed her.

“Thank you,” Alanna said, then got to the point. “I need advice.”

Myles waited.

“Myles, Jon and Gary know, and you should too. I’m a girl. My real name is Alanna.”

"But I _do_ know," Myles said quietly. "Thank you for telling me at last, but I have known for years."

Alanna blanched.

“And you weren’t obligated to tell my parents?” Jon asked. “I know what other role you play.”

Myles laughed. “If Alanna had shown any sign of being a threat, I would have had to say something. But a girl whose secret is revealed while _saving your life_ , at a significant risk to her own? I want her somewhere she can do the same again, if it’s needed. That means _not_ having her sent home in disgrace.”

“I thought we kept anyone else from realizing Alanna was a girl in the desert!” Jon said.

“The desert? No, I heard two voices when Alanna brought you back from the Sweating Sickness – a man and a woman. I suspected then, and I’ve watched ever since”, Myles said. “But I think we need to help Alanna with her more pressing issue?”

Alanna didn’t say anything, so Gary elbowed her. “Come on, Alanna, _I want to see their faces_.”

Alanna glared at her large friend, then turned back to Sir Myles. “I get knighted tonight. I never liked lying, and the reason I needed to is about to go away. I’ll have my shield. How do I tell everyone and … minimize how much everyone hates me?”

“I highly doubt everyone will hate you,” Myles said. Alanna looked skeptical, and he continued, “Remember, I’ve known for years and I didn’t hate you or tell on you. No, as long as the King doesn’t take it too badly, I think you’ll be all right. And _how_ many times have you saved His Highness’ life?”

“At least three,” Jon said. “And I’ll remind people of that, if necessary.”

Myles nodded. “Now, you have several options. You could request an audience with Their Majesties now, before you’re officially presented with your shield. The knighting at sunset is largely a formality, and the real ceremony is the Ordeal, but there is _some_ risk to telling them beforehand if you want the formality to happen.”

Alanna shook her head. “No, I think I want the formalities to happen first.”

“Then you probably don’t want to correct them on your true name _during_ the ceremony, either. It’d be rather more public an initial reveal than I recommend, in any case.”

“Good point. But I don’t want to wait too long.”

“I think you’ll want to request a semi-private audience. Bring Jon, he was your knight-master and he’s the heir. I’m willing to come, if you wish. Gary, how long have you known?”

“A few months. Alanna only told me because she needed a second knight to instruct her. But I want to see _everyone’s_ faces when they find out, and Their Majesties absolutely count.”

So they hashed out their plans. At some point that night, _after_ Alanna had been knighted, Jon would ask his parents, Their Majesties, if they might have a small meeting with themselves, Alanna, Thom if he had arrived yet, Sir Myles, and Sir Gareth. (Duke Gareth or Duke Roger might also be interested, but Jon wouldn’t be the one to request their presence. He didn’t need to.) Jon would, of course, support his former squire.

And Myles would check, but he was fairly certain girls had never been _banned_ from training for knighthood. Fathers had just stopped sending their daughters, until no one even thought of it as an option.

\-----------------------------------------------

“After the banquet ends, we’re meeting them in their private solar,” Jonathan whispered.

Alanna nodded, a pit forming in her stomach. She was glad the lie would be over soon, but the telling of it … that was scary. She’d confirmed with Thom that he’d brought their birth papers, which he could (and probably would) show to Their Majesties, and that he would be joining their meeting, whenever it was.

As the night drew to a close, she found Thom, chatting with Duke Roger, and signaled him to follow.

“For the meeting with Their Majesties?” Roger asked.

“Yes, your Grace,” Alanna said.

“His Majesty asked me to attend, so I’m going the same way,” Roger said, following. Alanna cursed silently. Roger wasn't a threat to her (in this world), but he was definitely not a good person and he didn’t _know_ , which meant they couldn’t discuss the issue.

When they reached the solar, Alanna, Thom, and Roger all bowed, then Alanna knelt. Jon, Gary, and Myles were already in attendance.

“Sir Alan, you had something you wished to speak to us about?” King Roald asked.

“Alanna,” she said, afraid to look up.

“A woman’s name is not an explanation,” King Roald said.

“Alanna,” she started again, then gulped. “My name is Alanna. I’m sorry.”

“What is going on here?” King Roald demanded.

Thom spoke up. “You’ll have to excuse my sister, Your Majesties. "You see, she wanted to be a knight. I wanted to be a sorcerer. We traded places. I think I may have had the better part of the bargain; I didn't have to lie to people I liked and respected all these years. Here. I brought our birth papers. As she said, her name is Alanna. We're twins."

“Who knew of this?” King Roald … did not sound pleased. Alanna glanced up enough to see he was looking around the room, not at her.

Jon spoke first. “I knew. I’ve known since the Black City.”

“You knew when you chose her for your _squire_?”

Jon answered readily. “She was the best fencer at Court, and she’d saved my life twice by then. How could I not?”

“I knew,” Gary added.

“As did I,” Myles said. "I guessed when Alan—Alanna—cured Jonathan of the Sweating Sickness. And she came to me for advice this morning, on how to tell Your Majesties.”

“You especially, I would have expected to tell me,” King Roald said to Myles. Then the King looked at Alanna. "What have you to say for yourself?"

Alanna met his eyes squarely. "I hated lying to you," she admitted. "I wanted to tell; but I couldn't. Would you have let me win my shield if I had told the truth?" The King's silence was answer enough. "I've tried to be honest about everything else. And I can't regret what I did."

Silence stretched. Several of the men seemed to be thinking, hard.

Duke Roger was the first to speak, and his question was directed at Jon. “I assume this is why you didn’t wait for a ransom letter, when Alan – Alanna was kidnapped?”

“She’d saved my life a third time by then, your Grace. It would have been a poor repayment to let her gender be revealed on the wrong side of the river. So I – I took a calculated risk.” For the first time, Jon looked uncomfortable. That was the one time he’d actively done something he wasn’t supposed to do to hide Alanna’s secret, as far as she knew (there was no rule against lending clothing).

After another stretch of silence, Duke Gareth spoke next. “What do we do, going forward? Women can’t train to be knights, but anyone who passes their Ordeal _is_ a knight of Tortall.”

“If I may, your Majesties, your Graces?” Myles began. King Roald nodded for him to proceed. “I’ve only had a few hours to look, but my recollection – and I haven’t found any evidence to the contrary – is that women were never barred from becoming knights. Fathers simply stopped sending their daughters as the Cult of the Gentle Mother gained popularity and we had enough peace that we didn’t strictly _need_ their swords. It’s tradition, not law, that her training violated.”

“And she lied,” Duke Roger pointed out.

“And she lied to train,” Sir Myles admitted. “Due to my, ah, other services to the Crown I am perhaps less concerned about lies in the service of a higher goal than most.”

Alanna wondered what those other services might be. Jon seemed to know, and since both Dukes nodded at this, she assumed they knew too.

“Might I make a suggestion?” Jon asked. His father nodded. “If women were never banned from seeking knighthood, we could perhaps announce that fact? I see no reason for Sir Alanna to remain the only lady knight, and then we would have one less problem to address.”

“You see no reason – what do you mean? Explain.”

“We used to have lady knights. I looked up that history after the Black City. Why _shouldn’t_ we have them again? Alanna’s the best fencer at court, and I’d rather have her as a knight than not.”

“What father would let his daughter embrace such a lifestyle, and the risks to her honor?” Duke Gareth asked. “I assume your father was not aware of the switch, when he was alive,” he told the twins.

“He wasn’t,” Alanna and Thom said together. “We still looked alike when we were ten.”

King Roald sighed. “Sir Alanna. You – you’re still a knight. You won your shield. We will need to address the matter of your deception. For the time being, do not reveal it to anyone who is not already aware. You are dismissed.”

Alanna bowed her head, stood up from where she was _still_ kneeling, and then bowed again, before leaving the room. She waited outside for a few moments, where she was quickly joined by Thom and Gary. “Jon will probably be a while,” Gary told her. “Being the Heir, and taking you as his squire anyways.”

Alanna snorted. “I bet. Maybe they’ll decide to punish me by sending me away from court for a while?”

Thom laughed. “Well, if you’re away from court anyways but still a knight, you’ll have plenty of time for adventures, won’t you?”

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Jon’s room was quiet when Alanna rose in the morning. She wasn’t sure if he was asleep, or if he hadn’t returned last night.

Alanna and Thom were eating lunch the next day when Jon found them. “So, Alanna, marry me?” he asked.

“Did your parents make you ask, or are you fool enough to actually want to marry me?” Alanna asked in return.

“Both.” Jon shrugged. “Mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead. And I’m not ready to make decisions about marriage.”

“No, you’ve got to go on all your adventures first,” Thom said. “Wouldn’t I have to get pushy about her honor as Lord of Trebond to make you marry her, anyways?”

“Normally, yes,” Jon admitted. “And technically they didn’t make me marry her. They just made me ask earlier than I would have.” He turned towards Alanna. “ _I_ would have waited until you’d had an adventure or three.”

“If you’re still fool enough to want to when I’ve had an adventure or three, ask me again then,” Alanna informed him. “Or you could marry for the good of Tortall, like you’re supposed to. Being Queen sounds terrible, thanks.”

“Ouch.”

“So, what happens next?” Thom asked.

“They’re going to ban Sir Alanna from the palace for six months over the lie. They’re not going to declare that women are _welcome_ to train for knighthood, but the punishment is solely about the lie. Anyone who can read between the lines of an announcement should be able to figure out that if they send a daughter here honestly, she won’t be turned away.”

Alanna shrugged. “Fine by me. And the people who knew, but didn’t tell?”

“Officially, nothing. I’m apparently in regular parental trouble, but not royal trouble. Myles managed to justify his secret-keeping as part of keeping me safe since you keep saving my life, Gary can’t be in more trouble than me because I knew longer, and like Thom said, he didn’t have to lie. Oh, and I shouldn’t take the next girl as my squire, if one ever shows up. Not that I was going to.”

Alanna shoved him. “No, you should not. So, when does my ban start?”

“I think they’re announcing it tonight at dinner. You should be there for the announcement, and you’ll have a few days to pack before you need to be out. No banquets while you’re packing, though.”


	2. The Duke of Conte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets related Alanna and Duke Roger's interactions in an AU where Roger isn't regicidal. (He's fine being Jon's trusted advisor, thanks. Do you have any idea how much you can do as a trusted advisor? And without the final responsibility of a king?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear, this version of Roger is still a Bad Person. He just plans to be powerful in a different (non-regicidal) way that doesn't require divine intervention, so he gets to be a Bad Person who remains alive. 
> 
> (Basically, the Sweating Fever, Lianne's illness, etc. weren't actually him, though he'll certainly take advantage of such situations.)

Alanna drew a deep breath. "What's my third fear? I may as well hear it now and get it over with."

"Roger, Duke of Conte." The Goddess's voice was low, soft and deadly.

In this world, the conversation goes much as it did in the other. It’s just that Alanna is … not entirely correct about the Duke of Conte (and the Goddess, knowing it, doesn’t say so much about defeating him.)

The Goddess rose. "The Chamber is only a room, though a magical one, and you will enter it when the time comes. Duke Roger is only a man, for all he wields sorcery. But you, my daughter—learn to love. You have been given a hard road to walk. Love will ease it. Much depends on you, Alanna of Trebond. Do not fail me!"

\---------------------------------------

Duke Roger settled into the chair before his fire, picking up a chess piece from the game set up there. It was a pawn. The man smiled ironically; before the Black City he had thought Alan of Trebond was a pawn. A Gifted, athletic pawn, but a pawn nevertheless; a pawn who could be moved around by Roger. The Black City—and tonight's bout with Dain—had taught him differently. Alan of Trebond was dangerous.

The question was not if he would _like_ to slow – or even stop – Alan of Trebond’s career. Roger didn’t like magical rivals. He would _love_ to ensure Alan of Trebond didn’t become one, or to remove him (in a way that seemed natural) if he already was one. But would doing so affect his plans? The boy had a habit of saving Prince Jonathan’s life, both with the Sweating Sickness and in the Black City.

Duke Roger had initially planned to be a … more active king than his uncle. But his cousin, Jonathan, was already showing signs he would do the same. Serving as a trusted advisor to a more active ruler would let him implement many of the same changes, without final responsibility for _all_ the headaches. Best to keep Jon alive, then, and if that meant he had to tolerate a magical rival he would normally prefer to slow, so be it.

Only if he had to, though. To determine whether the first incident had been a fluke, he had questioned the boy further, reaching into his mind to see if Alan had any secrets. He remembered that moment even now—feeling his magic sliding over glass walls behind those innocent eyes. A power that attacked him would have made it clear what the boy was. This … did not. His twin, too, either was a fool or played one well. Lucky fools, even powerfully Gifted ones, didn’t stay lucky forever, and he needn’t concern himself with the protection of his cousin when eliminating _foolish_ potential rivals. But clever, protected, and loyal rivals? He might need to suffer these twins, to keep his plans being changed again by a cousin with a penchant for nearly dying. But he _could_ continue to test Alan of Trebond, and if he were merely lucky, eventually he would fail.

\----------------------------

One evening in late July she and Faithful were standing watch just below the falls. They were alone at the moment. The soldier sharing the watch with them was having trouble with a healing leg, and Alanna had sent him back to camp for a replacement. He had not been gone long when a twig snapped behind them. Alanna spun, leveling her spear at her visitor.

Orange light flared against a hand, making Duke Roger's face briefly visible. Faithful pressed against Alanna's ankles, hissing and spitting.

"Stop it," Alanna told him, slowly lowering the spear. Faithful obeyed. "Your Grace. Aren't you out late?"

"Not really. Sit down, please. I know you still tire easily."

"You did a brave thing, tracking down the man Thor and hearing his story. It's a pity you collapsed before you made it back to camp; you might have captured the traitor."

Alanna shrugged without taking her eyes off Jonathan's cousin. "Don't think I haven't kicked myself about that, sir, several times."

Silence fell between them, stretching out over endless moments. I won't ask why he's here, Alanna told herself grimly. He'll get to it in his own time. He didn't come up here just to be polite.

Suddenly Duke Roger said, "We are not friends, are we, Alan?"

Alanna tightened her hands on her spear. This was coming to grips with a vengeance! "No, Your Grace, we're not," she replied evenly.

Without the light of his Gift it was hard to read the Duke's face. "Might it be possible we are enemies?"

Alanna thought about this, and about his reasons for asking. "I don't know," she said finally. ''Perhaps _you_ should tell _me_."

“I could be a very good friend, Alan.”

Her throat was dry. What kind of game was he playing? Was this a warning—or a threat? "I have no desire to make you my enemy, sir. I'd like to live to a ripe old age and die in my sleep."

White teeth flashed in a grin against his shadowed face. "I can sympathize. Such an ending could be yours—if we were friends. Many things could be yours."

Alanna shifted her hold on the spear; her fingers were getting numb. "I would have to be assured that my other friends have the same chance, Your Grace," she said boldly. "Frankly, I doubt that's your aim."

“Because my cousin has been so … accident-prone? No, I’d rather be his trusted advisor many years hence than see him fall.”

Alanna wasn’t sure what to make of that. “And me? Why all this attention to me?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about my reputation, regarding the careers of especially promising young mages,” he said. “It’s true enough, but if your tendency to save my cousin from his accidents is _not_ merely luck, I am prepared to tolerate a magical rival – so long as he is not my enemy.”

“If you’re no enemy of my other friends – or of my brother – then I have no reason to make you my enemy. I’m … uncertain we would be friends, however.”

Roger bowed. "I appreciate your honesty, Alan of Trebond. Not many dare be so open with me."

\---------------------------------------------

Several nights later, Alanna was on guard duty again. Until she wasn’t.

Roger knew nothing other than the kind of spell that had been used on the cat and the sleeping guard. "Any village healer can do it, I'm afraid," he told Jonathan grimly. "Sleep is particularly easy to create, because it is something the body does naturally." He gazed out the window and sighed, knowing Jonathan was watching him closely. "A pity about your squire. With your father's orders. . . . We'll have to wait for a ransom demand. Alan's obviously a noble, and even Duke Hilam won't dare to flout the conventions of war."

But no demand came, and Jonathan planned his rescue.

Not long after he left, Myles and Roger were playing chess when a guardsman burst in to whisper hurriedly into Roger's ear.

Myles saw with interest that Jon's cousin suddenly turned white.

"What?" the Duke snapped.

The guardsman bowed. "It's true, Your Grace. More than thirty of them, I'd guess. They've fired the huts the enemy built on the north side of their camp. I saw it myself from the wall."

Jumping to his feet, Roger turned on Myles, his eyes burning. "Do you know what my precious cousin has done? He's trying to rescue his squire! Who can’t save him from his own follies until _after_ he’s managed it!”

\-----------------------------------------------

“"Myles," Alanna began one December night as they were playing chess, "does the Queen's weakness look—right to you?"

"It looks like it's killing her." Myles frowned. "Is that supposed to look 'right' to me?"

Alanna examined a knight thoughtfully. "Duke Baird's the finest healer in Tortall. Why can't he help the Queen?"

Myles looked sharply at her. "This isn't just idle conversation, is it? What's bothering you?"

Alanna nibbled her thumbnail. "I don't like it," she admitted. "I saw how much Duke Baird can do at the Drell. He's blessed by the gods. A fever, a cough—Duke Baird can heal those things in a moment. But now he can't. The only other time I saw him this helpless was during the Sweating Sickness." She moved a pawn forward one square. "There are some people who think the Sweating Sickness was caused by a sorcerer. You were one of them, remember?"

"Do you think there's a connection?" Myles asked.

"I don't know what to think," Alanna replied. Then she shook her head. "Yes, I do. You know what I suspect. He talked to me one night in Tusaine, about a week before I was kidnapped. He was … surprisingly open. He wants to be _Jonathan’s_ trusted advisor when he’s King, rather than deal with the headache of final responsibility himself, so Jon’s safe. But he’s ruthless in ways that make me wonder if he’d hurry that time along. “

"You have no proof," Myles replied steadily.

"Duke Roger isn't a careless man," Alanna said bitterly. "I have only what I've seen and what I think."

She got up and poked the fire, her jaw tight with anger.

"You hate Roger, don't you?" Myles asked quietly. He poured them each a glass of wine.

“He made no bones about his willingness to sabotage potential magical rivals, and that he would have done for me if I hadn’t saved Jonathan’s life, repeatedly. Loyal to Jon or no, he’s evil. So yes, I hate the Duke of Conte.”

\------------------------------------------------

Duke Roger found Alanna while she was packing, door open in case any of her friends came by to wish her well. “Your Grace,” she said.

“May I come in?” he asked. “I have something I wish to discuss.”

Alanna nodded, and waved for him to sit. Hating the Duke of Conte was a reason to know what he was planning, not to kick him out of the rooms she would shortly vacate.

“I know we are … less than friends, and you have no reason to trust me,” he began.

“I believe that you are unlikely to try to hurt me or my friends, because doing so wouldn’t help with your plans. But that is not general trust, no,” Alanna told him. “I asked Thom to protect Jon while I’m away, by the way.”

The Duke raised an eyebrow. “To protect Jon, or to make sure your brother would be safe from _me_?”

“Bit of both,” Alanna admitted. “Despite your watchful eye, my protection _has_ mattered.”

“And telling me you asked would protect your brother. In any case, that’s not why I’m here. I have something to offer you, before you leave.”

“What is it?”

“A token, of sorts. It won’t tell me where you are, but it will extend my range to contact you, in case someone at the palace needs to send word to you urgently.”

“And why should I trust that’s all it will do?”

“You shouldn’t. You should have your brother help you _verify_ that’s all it will do. But that is, in fact, all it will do.”

Cautiously, she took the flat stone, engraved at the top with the Conte seal.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Thom examined the stone thoroughly. “No, this stone is safe. In fact, I think I could make a pair so _we_ could send word to each other, if needed. Not easily, even with the assistance, but it should extend our ranges to contact each other.”

“Please do. I’d rather Roger not be my fastest source – or my only source – of news from the palace.” She thought a moment. “That was the trick in him giving me the stone, wasn’t it? No need to make it do anything besides what he said – being the only person at the palace who could send me news quickly, once I got far enough away —that’s what he wanted from it.”


End file.
